Birthday hangover
by Lily272
Summary: Seto was depressed to be all alone on his birthday and gets way too drunk. The next day Joey finds him behind a dumpster. What will happen when he cares for a drunk and due to that VERY talkative and VERY horny Kaiba? Probably nothing that can be considered PG!


**Authors Note:** Obviously I own nothing! Apart from this plot. I somehow got the idea and thought it be fun. I hope some of you'll agree so enjoy my late Birthday gift for Seto!

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 **Birthday hangover**

Joey is walking towards work. It's still early since his first job for the day is helping in a bakery to make fresh bread cakes and rolls for the day. Since those are then delivered to different shops they need to be done early too.

Joey yawns right before he hears a groan and looks into the dark alley behind the local pub. Behind a dumpster he sees a leg and walks over to see if whoever is behind it is just some random hobo or someone who was hurt and needs help.

His eyes nearly fall out of his eyes when he sees Kaiba there. He doesn't seem to be hurt but he certainly has been sick at some point since his shirt had gained a few stains from that. Joey can also smell rather a lot of alcohol from him. "Kaiba?" Joey says and tries to shake the man awake "Come on moneybags get a grip and open your eyes."

Joey is considering to call an ambulance but Kaiba finally opens his eyes and mumbles "Go away mutt. Wanna sleep."

Joey can hardly understand the slurry speech but decides that he won't call an ambulance if he can get him somewhere safe to sleep it off. "Not here moneybags." Joey says trying to get him to his feet. "It's way too cold for what little you're wearing. Where the hell did ya leave your coat."

"Who cares." The brunet slurs. "I'll tell ya who, it's no one. I know I'm a jerk I deserve it so quit ya yapping and leave me the hell alone."

"Where is your phone." Joey asks hopping to find the number of one person in there that can pick up the guy.

"Lost." Kaiba slurs "And guess what, no one cares bout that either so go on and get lost too."

'Great' Joey thinks 'Why on earth did I have to stumble over a drunk and depressed Kaiba.' With a sigh Joey says "I'm not going to just leave you here so you get a choice. You get off your ass and let me walk you home and if someone is there I'll leave you."

"No one's there and too bloody far." Kaiba grumbles and moves to face away from Joey and closes his eyes.

"Oh no. No falling asleep again." Joey says walking around him and tries to pull him into a sitting position while saying. "Option number two, you think of someone that I can call who will get you home and keep you safe."

"Told you. No one gives shit about me." Kaiba mumbles and gives a, thanks to the drunken appearance, rather amusing looking death glare.

"Well unless you want me to call an ambulance and read Kaiba found pissed behind dumpster in the newspaper you'll have to come home with me." Joey says. "Because those are the only options left and my place ain't far and even though it isn't the Kaiba mansion it sure as hell beats a dumpster."

"Me….goin' home with….You?" Kaiba slurs and Joey is about to once again ask if he's sure to risk this going public when Kaiba finally moves to stand. "To the dog house."

Joey growls but catches the nearly falling man and helps the way too drunk to walk Kaiba to his place. Once there he parks Kaiba on the couch and calls the boss of that bakery.

After getting fired for not being at work Joey thinks 'screw it' since it is only one of four part-time jobs he's got and can manage with less money until he finds another.

He looks at Kaiba who glares at him before saying or rather slurs "You expect me to sleep on a couch? Do ya know who I am?"

"You've slept behind a dumpster when I found ya." Joey grumbles.

"Now I want a bed." Kaiba glares. "And it better not be a dusty guest bed."

Joey glares but with a sigh helps him up again saying "But only after a shower. Because you stink."

"I don't stink." Kaiba grumbles.

"You're covered in puck so you stink and now move." Joey grumbles and helps the man into the bathroom and onto the toilet to help get him out of his shirt and at least wash him a little.

Joey pulls the shirt off noticing how cold he is but not surprised considering how little he'd been wearing in the cold. He's getting a washcloth and turns on the water in the sink. "I thought I'm supposed to shower." Kaiba grumbles.

"The way you walk you can't and unless ya want to shower with me you don't have a choice." Joey sighs and once again wonders why on earth he had to be the one to find that annoying jerk.

"I want to shower." Kaiba grumbles and stands.

Joey is just about able to catch him before Kaiba falls and nearly falls with him before he growls "You do realize that I'd have to help ya and that you'd probably hate it once you're sober?"

"Don't care. Shower me." Kaiba orders.

Joey growls and says fine and pushes the other guy to sit on the ground in his shower and turns on the warm water right before he throws the washcloth into his face. "There I helped ya now get out of the wet pants while I try to find something that might fit." Joey orders angered and leaves.

He takes a deep breath before goes on a search for anything that could more or less fit the taller man and for this purpose he's glad that Kaiba is thin as a twig even though it does worry him that he could count the man's rips after helping him out of the sullied shirt.

After ten minutes, he returns with his most washed out and comfortable outfit to keep Kaiba warm while he's sleeping some more after he's changed. With a sigh Joey turn off the water and even though Kaiba is breathing evenly he checks Kaiba pulse and compares it to his own. After all he must be very drunk to fall asleep in the shower. Since it feels normal he decides to shake him away again to get him changed only to hear a "No I'm not telling my mutt that I love him now leave me?"

Joey raises an eyebrow and grins at the still sleeping man and wonders how pissed he'll be if Joey ever tells him what he said while being drunk and half asleep. Once he gets him awake enough to open his eye Joey says "Come on Kaiba. Time to get changed." And pulls him up to lean against the shower wall.

Kaiba just looks at Joey strangely until Joey says "What are you waiting for. You're still able to get changed aren't you."

"Nope." Kaiba says grinning "You'll have to get me out of my pants."

"Why me?" Joey whines out loud this time.

"'Couse you made them wet." Kaiba grins. "Now get your sexy ass here and help me."

Joey just sighs and grumbles "You better be damn grateful for this when you're sober." and fears that he'll rather be flipping mad.

Joey walks closer and starts to open Kaiba's pants while the brunet puts his arms around the blond. "At least help a little!" Joey grumbles.

"Sorry to busy." Kaiba slurs.

"Busy my ass." Joey grumbles while Kaiba is leaning on him. "What the hell are you doing that you're that busy?"

"Enjoyin' the view down your back and feeling your hands on me." Kaiba mumbles leaning far over Joey and leaning on the blond.

Joey grumbles and tries to get his pants down while carrying the guy to keep him upright and starts to press his upper body back saying, "Quit it and stay still so I can get you changed."

"Eager to get me out of my pants?" Kaiba mumbles still grinning.

"Just quit talking that rubbish and help me get you CHANGED as in INTO different pants." Joey complains and gets him out of his boxes with a blush seeing that he's actually getting a little hard and tries to ignore it while throwing a towel at him. "Now come I get you dressed on the bed."

Joey is more or less carrying the stumbling brunet into his bed and pushes him down. "What if I don't want to get dressed." Kaiba asks looking at Joey.

"Tough luck." Joey grumbles. "Now be a good boy and help a little."

"Only if I get a kiss." Kaiba says.

Joey just rolls his eyes and thinks 'What the hack, if it makes him shut up I'll do anything by now.' And says "Fine but only after you're dressed.

Joey is glad that Kaiba is finally helping a little and once he's got him dressed Kaiba mumbles, "My kiss. Want it now."

Joey just leans down and gives a kiss to his cheek and says. "Now sleep tight."

"Not THAT kind of kiss you moron." Kaiba grumbles.

"Sorry but you're drunk and I'm not and I'm not making out with someone who's drunk unless I'm too drunk to notice," Joey grins.

"But I want a kiss." Kaiba whines. "A real kiss with tongue and all."

"You know what." Joey offers certain that Kaiba will most likely forget and even if not never ever want to go through with it! "You can kiss me all day long once you're sober so be a good boy and sleep."

"I'll hold you to it." Kaiba mumbles closing his eyes. "I'd still rather…."

Joey just grins after watching him falling asleep in the middle of a sentence and then goes online to find out any number for Kaiba's office in the hope that someone will come and pick him up soon.

After two hours talking to different people in the office Joey finally has Kaiba's secretary on the phone but after hearing who's on the line and that Kaiba is totally pissed and talking about kissing and sexy asses and such just starts to laugh his head off before he says "Thanks for taking care of him and good luck you two."

After that he ends the call before Joey can say anything else and Joey glares at the phone. He eyes Kaiba and hopes that he'll be fine if he goes into work for a little while since he's got to get the newspapers out soon or he'll be in trouble with two of his four part-time jobs. Joey sighs and writes a note for Kaiba before he heads out.

He does change his usual round though and makes a few pit-stops at his apartment to see how Kaiba is doing and is glad to always find him sleeping peacefully.

After the round, he goes to a kindergarten where he helps a little every day in the kitchen. He loves cooking for the little tykes and always lets one from every of the four groups of kids help him. The minders get to pick which ones and nearly all of them love it to help Joey. Today is the first time he's glad to leave again to check on Kaiba and enjoy a bit of a break.

By the time he's back he finds Kaiba sitting on the bed and holding his head in his hands.

"Got a headache?" Joey cheers none to quietly.

"Not so loud." Kaiba groans but looks up when Joey holds out a glass of water a moment later and is glad to see a little pill in his other. "Thanks." He says assuming correctly that it's a pain reliever.

Kaiba still sighs afterwards. "I'll never drink again.

"Better not." Joey grins. "You really don't want to know what you did."

Kaiba is quiet and blushes before he mumbles "Can I call the office from here? They probably already called the police."

"I called them and had your secretary on the phone who actually enjoyed my predicament of a drunk Kaiba that is talking about kissing and sexy asses." Joey grins curious how Kaiba will react to that little information.

"Oh no." Kaiba moans. "He's never going to stop pester me about it and he's the only secretary that can handle all my appointments without a mental breakdown. At least not yet."

"The way he laughs he might have gotten one when he heard ya aren't coming." Joey grins.

"No." Kaiba sighs. "He's just happy and will pester me for ages."

"Happy about what?" Joey asks. "That he's got something to pester you about?"

"That too I guess." Kaiba says and then looks at Joey with a frown. "Did I already dream that part or did you say I could kiss you all day long."

Joey just shrugs and sits down next to him. "I knew ya never do that so yeah. Anything to get ya to quite annoying me and start sleeping."

"So you didn't mean it." Kaiba says and for a moment Joey is sure to hear disappointment in his voice. It is quiet for a moment until Kaiba mumbles, "But you promised."

Joey looks towards him only to see his face move closer very slowly. Joey's eyes widen and Kaiba looks right into them still not stopping. A moment later their lips touch gently and Kaiba starts to gently move his lips over Joey's and a hand towards the back of the blond head and holds him close. The gentle kiss goes on for another moment before Kaiba moves his other arm around the blond only to pull him onto his own lap and press his own lips harder against Joey's before he starts to gently nibble on his bottom lip.

"Kaiba…" Joey tries to mumble but is hardly heard since Kaiba uses the act to push his tongue into his mouth and play with Joey's, surprised but mostly happy that Joey is groaning.

A little later Kaiba is still kissing him and pushing Joey onto the bed positioning himself over him.

"Kaiba." Joey mumbles after a while moving his face to the ide to be heard. "What the hell?"

The brunet keeps kissing the blond man's neck happy that he isn't fighting him. "I want you." He whispers. "Please, just this once."

"You're still drunk." Joey muses certain that it's the only logical explanation.

"I'm not." The brunet whispers into his ear before nibbling on it for a moment and then whispers, "I've wanted you for years. Why do you think my secretary was so amused, he found out ages ago!"

Kaiba is happy to feel the blond shiver and starts to move his hands over the blond body. His fingers slowly moving over the others chest and moving his jumper up. He truly enjoys to watch the blond shiver beneath him. To see him arch his back when he moves a hand to play with one of his nipples and shudders when moving his lips over the skin of his neck and starts to undress him afterwards. Once he's got Joey half naked under himself he moves in to properly plunder his mouth again before thrusting his own clothed member against Joey's.

Due to the resulting moan the kiss is interrupted and Joey looks up towards the brunet. Still clearly surprised at what's happening. "I'm going to make you beg me for more." Kaiba whispers. "I'm going to make you scream my name in pleasure." He moves his lips closer to the blonds and just about touches hem when he whispers into the blond's mouth, "And I'm never going to let you leave again."

About an hour later Kaiba is smugly lying next to Joey after getting him to not only scream Kaiba a few times but in the end, he even got Joey to moan his given name. Joey on the other hand still feels like he's in shock and can hardly believe what just happened. "You kissed me." He mumbles while Kaiba is nearly asleep again.

"I did." He replies sounding Smug.

"You…well…you did…" Joey just blushes.

Seto Kaiba rather grins and leans closer whispering as seductively "I fucked you." He nibbles on his ear again before adding, "And you loved every second of it."

"Well Kaiba." Joey can't help but say, "You're one hell of a kisser."

"I thought we'd reached first name basis considering that you called me Seto when you came." Seto just grins.

"Oh god." Joey grumbles and covers his face.

"No reason to be embarrassed." Seto grins and starts to kiss his neck again.

"You haven't eaten yet." Joey mumbles. He brought something with him from the Kindergarten but had placed it on the counter in the kitchen when he'd gotten the pain reliever for Kaiba.

"How about I have another taste of you!" Seto whispers and Joey feels Seto's hand move up his leg.

Joey stops it though and mumbles, "I've got to work soon."

"Forget it." Seto whispers into his ear.

"I can't lose another job because of you." Joey grumbles remembering just now that he'd lost one already because of him and manages to stand up and is about to grab for his boxers.

"What do you mean another job?" Seto questions upset to see the blond resist his charm.

"I lost one when I couldn't go into the bakery I work for because someone wanted to have a bloody shower." Joey says even so he'd lost the job by then.

"In that case quit them all." Kaiba says, "Well apart from the cooking one in the Kindergarten I heard you actually enjoy that one. And I hire you to cook for me! I most certainly would love it if you'd bring me some lunch into work and…. distract me from my work a little." Seto leans closer to the blond and starts to kiss the shoulders of the by now sitting blond and whispers, "Come back into bed. And this weekend we're going to move everything you own into my mansion."

"And since when do you just decide about my life?" Joey asks with a frown trying to fight the urge to just lean back and let Seto have his wicked way with him since he most certainly is wicked in bed.

"Since you can't resist my kisses." Seto whispers into his ears." And we both know that you want me to do that as often as possible. And it be way more often when you're sleeping in my bed and in my arms, every night."

"God Seto we can't just go from insults to moving in within 24 hours." Joey complains.

"And who say we can't do just that?" Seto questions. "We both know that you want to just lean back and let me drive you crazy again."

"You're doing that already." Joey mumbles trying to keep his voice steady "But I thought you hate me."

"I never hated you." Seto whispers, "You used to annoy me by distracting me in every dual against Yugi, then you annoyed me even more by making me want you and then you annoyed me the most by driving me crazy by not being around me anymore when you finished school."

Joey grins a little. "I thought you'd say the insults annoy you."

"No I loved those." Seto whispers. "I knew that you'd at least noticed me when you insulted me and I wanted your attention so badly."

"I thought you're supposed to be smart." Joey mumbles feeling Seto's hand move around his waist and downwards. He's about to stop him again when Seto gently bites his earlobe. "God, you always had my attention." Joey groans when Seto's hand reaches his goal and sometime later Joey is grumbling about losing two jobs in one day because of him while Seto just grins smugly, happy that it seems to be so easy to get Joey to do what he wants and wondering what his Secretary will say when Joey walks in to bring him lunch for the first time. Especially if he refused to tell him what happened today.

"By the way." Joey says a little later, "Happy late birthday. Jerk!"

"Thank you." Seto says with a grin, "My little mutt."


End file.
